When Will Wright’s The Sims first came out back in 2000-ish, I was a young college graduate. My job wasn’t very stressful yet so I had this nice amount of free time. I did the typical things that you would expect a twenty something with money to do. I bought a computer and started hanging out online. Come on, that is what you thought I was going to say right?
Anyway, shortly after The Sims was released it was all that my friends talked about so I picked up a copy.
It taught me some life lessons. One of which I will now share with you.
I played The Sims once.
And with once, I mean I played like one simulation worth.
And here is my story and the lessons that I learned.
My little Sim wife and her little Sim husband decided to have a baby.
It was so sweet. Helen and Marvin were so excited!
Marvin was an amazing husband, every time he made Helen mad he would high five her until their dispute was resolved. So you just knew that they could make it through thick and thin. That just made having a child all the more logical.
Little did Helen and Marvin know they were going to be blessed with twins.
Their first baby girl, Madison, was born sweet as can be. Then, all of a sudden Madison had a twin sister. Helen and Marvin were totally surprised but they counted their blessings and took to the role of Sim parents. The role was made harder no-thanks to the fact the twin sister was evil, literally.
Of course she cried nonstop but this does not make her inherently evil. But she seemed to have eyes passed down to her from the devil himself. Helen and her husband, and poor little Madi were at their wit’s end. Please note that they didn’t just think that she was evil, one of her attributes was actually “evil.”
Fast forward a few days, Helen could no longer stand it, she had that look of a desperate mother.
Neither she no Marvin could not figure out what to do. The evil twin was literally Satan incarnate and had yet to be given a name, which by her demeanor left her parents with few fitting options.
Like with any fairytale the little devil girl kept her mother awake at all times of the night and Helen was a wreck. She distracted Helen from taking care of her good-natured sister Madi. This went on for several days until, Helen, distraught with grief and overwhelmed by stress set out across the street.
Helen and Marvin lived near the edge of town in a beautiful neighborhood, to the right on the border with the woods of the Tillamook National Forest. An amazing natural wonder of their Sim world.
In good fairytale fashion Helen walked for miles and miles until she a place which looked comfortable.
Helen knelt down.
When she went to let go of the unnamed sister the Universe stopped her. Or the demonic invisible force that surrounded the evil twin would simply not let her put the baby down outside of the walls of her house.
Helen broke down with the sadness of a woman that felt no hope in her future and hard walked through the forest for miles in heels.
When she finally returned to the house, worse for wear, she and her darling husband could not figure out where to go from there.
No one was about to sleep. And for those of you who have never placed The Sims, sleeping is part of the game.
Finally Marvin had a stroke of genius.
He went out back, onto the family’s gorgeous patio and set her down.
This was still within the realm of the home.
Before he knew what he had done he had already finished erecting walls around the evil little Satan spawn.
They were safe.
They could finally be free of the curse of the evil twin.
But were they really?
As if through some Sim’s soul, Helen and Marvin could hear her screaming outside.
The sound penetrated walls of their house, the walls of her confinement, and their hearts.
Her unholy wails pierced their very souls.
Nothing had changed.
They couldn’t sleep.
They couldn’t do anything.
The evil twin cried nonstop.
This continued for a few days of this Child Protective Services was called, probably by their grumpy neighbor Mr. Kennedy, buy maybe not. This unknown neighbor had oblivious been enchanted by the evil nature of the second child.
They came, and before they could stop them they took Madison, the good child they cared for and loved.
Somehow, through some strange Sim’s logic they did not notice, or even acknowledge the cries of the second child.
For two days they lived in agony.
Helen could not take it anymore, she was stressed and messed up in her head, she told Marvin that she was going to take a bath and left the room.
Thinking nothing of it Marvin decided to make himself a delicious Sim snack. After 30 minutes when his wife did not return he went to see how Helen was doing. I still have nightmares knowing what that poor man found.
This was the only game of Sims I have ever played. I still hear the screams of the unnamed, demonic child at night.
And the moral of the story?
Video games teach you valuable life lessons, no matter what genre they are.
P.S. I actually don’t remember what I named the “evil” twin. I remember you had to give it a name, but I just don’t know what it was any more. Also Helen didn’t die in the bath, I just got sick of the game after that point and swore never to have kids.